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This article will develop with my practice, and as I discover new insights I'll put them up here.

First a note about my own path in Taiji. As you've probably gathered by now, I do an awful lot of thinking:-) This means that I tend to be top-heavy in my practice, and I've had to learn to pay attention to what's happening within the body. The strategy I've adopted is to 'creep up nonchalantly on the Dao', to be less intense and desperate about it than I was when I started all those years ago. (My first teacher didn't respond well to that intensity; my current teachers respond to the occasional lapse by simply answering the question as best they can.) The key to deep progress for me, then, has been to take the whole thing on a longer timescale and not to be in so much of a hurry.

Basically, what we're doing is training the nervous system - in particular the muscle memory - into new habits of posture and movement. The practice - especially the standing Qigong - is a process of strengthening the postural muscles (the stabilisers), which by and large we've forgotten how to use, and lengthening and relaxing all the muscles that are habitually in unnecessary tension. The unnecessary tension is due to (at least) two things: one is the fact of using the big muscles (the mobilisers) to do the job of the little ones, and the other is the way that muscle tension reflects tension in the mind - worry, anxiety etc. - and vice versa.

So the upshot is the whole body moving and doing things more efficiently and effortlessly, and, mirabile dictu, a more relaxed outlook on the world. This process is lifelong; it's never finished, and whenever you think you're getting the hang of something, new vistas open up and a new learning curve presents itself. So it's a journey of self-discovery par excellence.

I've got several 'modes' of Taiji practice: there's homework mode, where I'm getting the hang of a new move in a broad-brush sort of way, or refining a familiar move according to my teacher's latest correction.

Then there's besetting sin mode, where I try to watch one of my bad habits throughout the practice: things like a tendency to look down rather than straight ahead, and a tendency to let the bum stick out which puts strain on the knees. One thing at a time is best. Exaggeration helps with this: in the case of keeping the lower back vertical (which can lead to the upper back leaning back and tension in the buttocks and tummy) I personally find it helps to exaggerate the tilt in the lower back the other way and let the rest go hang for a little while. Once the lower back has got the message (and you start to notice the quadriceps), you can then go back to relaxing the tummy, which is ultimately the centre of the whole caboodle. (One day your tummy will become your very own lovely lower dantien - your centre, not only of gravity but of energy as well. But it really is best not to rush it - just give it lots of attention little and often.) There are always plenty more besetting sins to work on.

A third mode of practice is playing-about mode, where I do it as fast as I can, or maybe fantasise about the martial art side of it, or turn the centre and let the arms flail about - just playing with the movements, basically.

And there's meditation mode, where I just watch what happens when I do the Form the very best that I can.

What happens is a very gradual 'fleshing-out' of your body image, and a dawning understanding of how your body, brain and mind work together in your life. As muscle tensions relax the qi flows more freely - for instance you might notice early on that your hands warm up during practice as the blood circulation gets more efficient. Usually it hurts at first, as the muscles get used to the new way of working, but the pain gives way to a wonderful feeling of connection through those muscles instead. If you do find some mental pain - e.g. a touch of the weepies - and your teacher hasn't a ready answer, try the BROH trick.

If any practice is going to take the mystique out of psycho- and spirit-babble, it's Taiji and Qigong. One of the things I said in the article 'Choosing a therapist' on the depression site was this: avoid pyramid-style long-term therapies because they're dangerous. In Taiji, it's definitely worth finding an instructor who is still going to classes. The danger from having a teacher who is still learning is minimised by the subject-matter - in Taiji you are working on the body and letting the mind take care of itself, and the old masters aren't interested in moulding your moral character or digging up painful truths, only in getting you to do the moves properly. This is very reassuring. It gives you the tools for your own journey, but doesn't prescribe what you choose to do with it. Taiji and Qigong literally bring you down to earth.

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